from faucet to fountain

Have you ever been so hurt that it doesn't seem that you are going to recover? That the light in your eyes has been snuffed out? That no matter how many times you get out of bed praying that today will be the day that it doesn't hurt so much that you actually feel physical pain in your chest? Has the dissapointment ever felt so big that it seemed like it was just going to swallow you up like a giant wave and drag you out to sea, never to see the shore again? Has sadness ever wrapped a thick blanket around you and the more you struggle to get free, the tighter it seems to grow? Has hope ever taunted you, seeming to be just right out of reach, that you grasp for it with tear-filled eyes only for it to escape you? You feel like a shell of yourself, at times only a little pressure threatening to crack you wide open. I have. I know that no one is exempt from suffering in this life. As a matter of fact, right alongside all the great promises of the bible, is also the declarat...

Today as I was selling fall in a cup, (aka pumpkin spice latte) from the Nordstrom e-bar, the same weathered woman came to ask me for her husbands specialty. Our culture tells us to hide our age, to hide the gray, the wrinkles, the sun spots...but for me it speaks of a life well lived. She was beautiful, laugh lines at the corner of her mouth, her eyes, tell of all the joy she has had. Creases in her forehead, of all the grief she has been through. She is a springy older lady. I see her maybe once a week. She never gets anything for herself, just "that drink my husband loves". I ask her if her husband works upstairs. (silly me) She laughs a gentle laugh and says oh no, my husband just had his eightieth birthday. She told me how they come and walk every week and when he gets really tired, he sits and she goes to get him his coffee. She tells me that he thought that his kids had forgotten about his birthday but how they had all surprised him with a party, her eyes...

I have never thought too much about heaven. Growing up in the bible belt, you hear a lot about the gospel being a ticket to heaven, a safety net to catch you, a life jacket out of a sinking ship or a plummeting plane. And yes, please do not get me wrong, it is that. But, it is so so much more than that. The benefits of knowing God, of giving your life to Him are not just so that you don't spend the rest of eternity in a place of darkness. The benefits are today , they are the guidance I get from the Holy Spirit. They are the tiny nudges when I am short with a family member, or the cashier at the store, to apologize or to keep short accounts. Yes those set me straight with the person, but they also set me straight with the Lord and with myself. They really benefit me in the long run. They are the whispers of hope and peace. It is the steady comfort of knowing that He knows my way, that "He makes me lie down in green pastures". It is the solid evidence that someone that ...

I have often thought of starting a blog but never done it. At times, a lack of resources has held me back and at other times a lack of courage. Even as I set this up today, there has been something in my heart that surprised me. A fear, maybe of stepping into something that I know that is in me, revealing myself, putting myself out there, also I feel a bit afraid of what is in me, both good and bad. I have always wanted to write. I wanted to be an author growing up but as time went by and as things happened in my life, that dream was buried, far beneath the recesses of growing pains, disappointments, and heart-ache I thought that it was gone for good. For the most part forgotten, I moved on, at times those thoughts and desires surfacing only to be swept aside and life continued on with. The great Dream-giver though has placed something in me. As I have continued to walk with Him, He has continued to restore, set free, bind up, and something has slowly surfaced in me. I have put it ...